@brendohare: Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
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@NoTrophy4You: When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?"."Not yet," she replied
@thepunningman: I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
@roostermustache: Him: my gf left me Me: theres plenty of fish in the sea Him: yeah but- Me: also a squirrel Him: ...what Me: and a sponge in a pineapple