@brendohare: Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
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@Parker_Simpson: Took a screenshot with my iPhone with the intention of texting a picture of my cracked screen.So the answer is no I didn't graduate college.
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: *applying a cast to a broken bone* Are you sure you don't just want me to cut it off?
@hazelmotes1: Our Mexican neighbor made us dinner and it tastes like I committed a grave error in marrying a white girl.
@bridger_w: If you're behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.