@Izianikapani: Cosmetology school was a real letdown. Anyone wanna buy a spacesuit?
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@qwertying: "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."
@longwall26: Me: How did Bruce and Alfred build the Batcave all by themselves? The Lord: I meant any questions about the mysteries of existence
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old daughter: Barbie is mad at Ken. *pushes their faces together* Me: Did they kiss and make up? 5: No. She headbutted him.