@Izianikapani: Cosmetology school was a real letdown. Anyone wanna buy a spacesuit?
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@mama_earp: Announced sternly to students today that "only hard things are worth doing!" In other news, I have a bunch of parent emails to respond to.
@AntozWolf: People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!
@longwall26: *Paul Ryan watches a children's hospital explode* Hhhhmmm, an affordable source of heat and light