@WarrenHolstein: Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone.
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@fro_vo: [beach] Me: if a shark stops moving it will die Wife: for the last time you can't kill a shark with a stop sign Me: it's the law diane
@cowyfwame: I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
@kwirkyKerri: Most women have a love hate relationship with their scale, but I'm convinced mine goes out of her way to piss me off.