@MauriceBlitz: Couldn't afford a butterfly knife, so I got a caterpillar one. Now, I wait.
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@anjeanettec: The best thing about being over 25 is that no one can find embarrassing Youtube videos of you as a kid.
@JElvisWeinstein: I know my computer doesn't have a virus because I've never had an 8-bit skull and crossbones pop up onscreen laughing.
@Mikecanrant: There is a huge spider in my kitchen so I will be tweeting from on top of this table for whatever the life span of this species is.
@Book_Krazy: Calm down 'Fitbit' joggers. I can drink one 5-Hour Energy and reach my target heart rate without even getting off my couch