@JediMoonShyne: couldn't resist
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@stephenjmolloy: Me: "I'd like to pay by card." Waiter: "Contactless?" Me: "No, you can cuddle me."
@thenatewolf: Me: goodnight kids Kids: goodnight dad Me: goodnight monster that eats children who are bad Wife: [through radio under the bed] GOODNIGHT
@pinupteacher: Two people have knocked on my door this morning so I did what any grown adult would do and hid.