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@JediMoonShyne: couldn't resist
@HatfieldAnne: Protestants sing every verse to every hymn. Catholics know this. We think about it when we get to the bakery 20 minutes ahead of you.
@GashleyMadison: A laugh track, but for every time my boss says "I need this done today."
@dshack8: Attention fat vegans:
@rickkondell: Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
@withanewname: [breaking up with girlfriend via the jumbotron]
"Hey, check out the scoreboard while I grab a hot dog."