@kumailn: "Count down to zero silently with your fingers and then do a fist pump." - SWAT manual on breaking down doors
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@lisaxy424: *phone rings* Meh, if it's so important, they'll leave a message. *voicemail notification* Meh, if it's so important, they'll text.
@behindyourback: If you're afraid of public speaking, just imagine everyone in the audience is on their phones not listening to you anyway.
@buttgh0st: COP: can anybody else describe the suspect? JOHN LENNON: he got feet down below his knees COP: anybody