@GalleriadiGiani: Counting Crows #GoodBandNameBadFirstDate
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@EJGomez: me: grandma u cant believe every article on facebook also me:[reads thread on twitter] ok avril lavigne has definitely been dead since 2003
@DrDogMD: NURSE: I promise. It's ok. You can come in. MAILMAN (trembling): are..are you sure DR DOG: *locked in his office just going freakin nuts*
@OhNoSheTwitnt: [Batman at McDonald's] What's your chicken sandwich called? -A McChicken And the rib? -A McRib [pulls out his batwallet] I like your style.
@TheTweetOfGod: Bad weather is My way of temporarily punishing you. Bad climate is your way of permanently punishing you.