@williamwanton: Couples that stay fit together don't trust each other enough to go to the gym alone
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@andylassner: "I haven't accomplished much but I will harshly judge the hard work of others" -Critics
@mlinhart: Dear fork, I just wanted to inform you that you have a son. His name is Spork. Love always, Spoon PS: he has your hair.
@JermHimselfish: I am constantly putting things where they don't belong, like the cereal in the fridge or my keys in the laundry or my faith in other people.