@jake_lach: Apparently, if she's refused to speak to you for two days your text should not be 'Why are you mad again?'

@samuelhlowe: - Police, open the door. - What do you want? - We just wanna talk. - How many of you are there? - Two. - Well just talk to each other.

@Tw1tter_K1tten: They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.

@TheToddWilliams: Millions of years ago dinosaurs ruled the earth but like all great empires they were eventually brought down by corruption and voter fatigue

@AimeeHelene1: (Ordering at restaurant) Yes....hmmm.... I'll take... Page 4