@nerdreign: Courtney Love thinks she found the plane. It's like God doesn't trust us to write our own jokes.
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@DrDogMD: DR DOG: We need to talk about your weight. PATIENT: I'm not fat. I'm just big boned. DR DOG: *drooling everywhere* Just how big exactly?
@michaelianblack: Happy Fourth of July. May your emails be gathered and your drones fly forever free!
@ch000ch: ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know
@AlexRogaski: Biologist screws up: Mutant killer virus Physicist screws up: Deadly black hole Geologist screws up: Rock on table is now rock on floor