@confuciusjokes: Cow with a twitch, beef jerky.
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@jazmasta: There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
@iliezabeth: ME: can u pick me up in ur claws DRAGON: go AWAY dammit ME: can u just put me in ur mouth pls—I wanna look out from ur teeth like im in jail
@MissyBell71: When someone asks me, "Is this seat saved?" I like to say "No, but we're still praying for it" and I laugh because chairs are like, dead.