@confuciusjokes: Cow with a twitch, beef jerky.
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@TheThomason: Kid, if you don't know whether your Batman costume is pre or post reboot continuity, you don't deserve candy. Also, Batman doesn't cry.
@Try2StopME: Interviewer: "So why should we hire you?" Me: "Cause I need a job very badly." Interviewer: "So?" Me: "And you have a vacancy. BINGO"
@topaz_kell: Health Tip: If you find a pill on the floor of a public restroom, rinse it off before taking it.