@web_supergirl: coworker asked me if I needed a hug and now he doesn't work here because people that are on fire can't work.
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@iinkedZombie: 5: let's play the quiet game. Me: Okay 5: ready..? Start. Me: 5: Me: 5: whoever talks first is the loser.
@IAmMikeFeeney: The first thing I'm going to do when I'm rich is buy an airline flight for everyone who works at the DMV and then delay the flight forever.
@ShoutingGoddess: One day we'll open Twitter & it'll just say: Thanks for playing! Hope you enjoyed this social experiment. Now apologise to your loved ones.
@rickkondell: The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks.