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@iinkedZombie: Coworker: did you have a good weekend?
Me: obviously not since I came back to work.
Me: I'll have a grande vanilla latte.
Barista: Soy milk?
Me: Hola Milk. Una gran latte de vainilla por favor.
@SteveSackington: How to propose marriage:
1. Drive to bridge
2. Jump off
*Synth bass line*
*hooded figure pops out*
"Thiiiiis is hooww we Druuuiiid"
*other hooded figures pop out*
"It's Friday night"
@: eminem: look, if you only had one shot-
me: I’d ask for more shots
eminem: you can’t… *rubbing bridge of nose* you can't ask for more shots
@WesTheFatKid: In a land with no pockets, the man with the fanny pack is king.