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@T_Bonezzz_: Coworker: I ran 5 miles at the gym this morning
@drinksmcgee: [First time ever having sex]
Her: So you just take this and slide it into this here. Are you ready?
*flashback to the 100s of hours I spent playing Tetris
Me: I was born ready.
@AGreaterMonster: Mmmh, the wetness...don't stop, harder, oh god yes, more fingers...I love the way you rub my head.
--me, getting a shampoo at the salon
@sonictyrant: Sloth Dad: i got some fireworks to celebrate your birthday
Sloth Son: um dad my birthday is four months away
Sloth Dad: okay I'm lighting them get ready to run
@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: We must find Luke Skywalker
General Hux: Why? He won't fight & you don't need training.
Kylo: He might have cool Vader souvenirs