@amishschool: Coworker left himself signed in to LinkedIn and now his skills include "mouth breathing".
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@ghostkrogh: me (checkin out at grocery store with 2 rotisserie chickens): hold up *i grab my phone although it didn't ring* sure i'll get 1 more chicken
@3sunzzz: My therapist encouraged me to stop bending over backwards for people. But just between us, I really miss yoga.
@shariv67: People used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a standup comic. Well, no one's laughing now. Wait.