@amishschool: Coworker left himself signed in to LinkedIn and now his skills include "mouth breathing".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Maxine12339: Must spend less time with my dogs. Haven't bitten the mailman yet but I am starting to circle three times before sitting down.
@IwanWil: I'm getting really good at this parenting thing. I just secretly ate 3 oreos while my kids were in the same room.
@daemonic3: "Damn girl, you look hot" Really? "Like a sexy little italian car" DID YOU JUST CALL ME FIAT?!?