@koalaslament: Coworker said 'nice pink shirt, when did you come out?' I said 'IT'S NOT PINK IT'S SALMON!'. Then I snapped my fingers and skipped away.
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@SamuelHLowe: When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.
@jordan_stratton: Gotta love those girls in department stores wearing lab coats--taking time away from their experiments to help women out with their makeup.