@Zaufo: Cows are vegetarians too, but you won't hear them bragging about it on Twitter.
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@TragicAllyHere: Lesser known historical fact: Abraham Lincoln's hat was so tall because he kept an upright Chipotle burrito in there
@MelKassel: 1 rabbit can make 1,000+ babies in its life DATE: how do you know that *shouting over deafening hopping sounds from the attic* INTERNET
@jonnysun: opening a deli called "Work" a steakhouse caled "The Gym" adn a fried chicken place caled "A Funeral" for ppl who like to eat & need excuses
@caliluvgirl77: "I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone" -girls who can't figure out boyfriend's passwords