@Zaufo: Cows are vegetarians too, but you won't hear them bragging about it on Twitter.
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@Prof_Hinkley: [After 20 min at your house] I used all your toilet paper "Check in the cabine-" All of it "We have more in the gar-" All of it all of it
@DirtMcTurd: Any shampoo can be volume control shampoo if you cram the bottle directly into your kids mouth
@FrenulumBreve: [love making] Her: [leans in] "do that thing you know I like." [i cease to exist] Her: "yeah baby."