@DuhhEmma: Crabs always look like they're walking themselves out of an awkward situation ....
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@TheBoydP: *Wife sends me a link* *I click on link* *Buy whatever's at the link* *wait for delivery* ~Christmas shopping for my wife
@Book_Krazy: "And why do you want to work at the aquarium?" * imagines me with a mermaid tail swimming in the giant tank after hours* I like fish
@RastaHipsta: Mission Impossible? He's done four of them now. Let's call it "Mission Pretty Hard but Ultimately Doable"
@crunchenhanced: I like my women how I like my microwaved food. Hot as hell on the outside and cold as ice on the inside.