@DuhhEmma: Crabs always look like they're walking themselves out of an awkward situation ....
@Ameiam: Jogging has never helped my memory.
@Rollinintheseat: *Comments on Facebook picture*
"That headband your baby is wearing really accentuates her baldness."
@TumblrsFunnies: yup im doing this
@ThaJawn: Werewolf's wife: IDGAF! It's a full moon tonight and I will not have you shedding all over! Outside, now!
@MarcusTheToken: Unless you're a direct descendent of a horse, don't chew with your mouth open.