@DuhhEmma: Crabs always look like they're walking themselves out of an awkward situation ....
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@AnOrangeSNES: [Dr's office] "I have Carrie like reflexes" Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? *Dr hits my knee with reflex hammer and I set him on fire* No
@librarianfonz: An idea only achieves transcendence after it is: 1. Published as book 2. Made into a feature film 3. Turned into an amusement park ride
@wendchymes: Kinda miss the Jane Austen era where a man is driven mad by a woman's hand being ungloved & yet oblivious to her heaving bosom falling out.