@DuhhEmma: Crabs always look like they're walking themselves out of an awkward situation ....
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@haleysfalling: accidentally added a "z" to the end of the word "think" in a text and suddenly my jeans are sagging below my ass and i have 3 chains on
@HatfieldAnne: Pretending that you're feeding the garbage disposal like a hungry baby bird does not hurt anyone.
@KyleMcDowell86: It's only a matter of time before the casino realizes that baby I lost at the roulette table wasn't mine
@CAshmanActor: Some killjoy: ‘Stop playing with your food!’ *Me and my ham sandwich get down from the seesaw*