@BuckyIsotope: CRAIGSLIST AD: Wanted - chicken nugget shaped like Rafael. Have 2 Leonardo's, willing to trade. Serious offers only. No Michaelangelo's.
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@professorkiosk: Me: Try to make a sandwich while doing a handstand. Genie: That's not really a wish, you know. Me: I said handstandwich!
@ventivodkacran: When someone yells "STOP!" I never know if it's Hammertime or if I should collaborate and listen.
@BigHeb7: Whenever I'm about to get in a bar fight, I give a karate bow to my opponent in hopes he gets scared and backs out before I piss myself.
@SlabBaconBP: I find that the secret to not being insecure is to just be better than everybody at everything while being incredibly good looking.