@BuckyIsotope: CRAIGSLIST AD: Wanted - chicken nugget shaped like Rafael. Have 2 Leonardo's, willing to trade. Serious offers only. No Michaelangelo's.
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@TheSharona06: That guy who just spent 2 hours washing and waxing his sportscar looks like a douche. C'mon boys, you know what to do. - Birds, probably
@AbbyHasIssues: *Showing me a picture of your baby* Me: Is that a dog toy in the background? What kind of dog do you have? What's your dog's name?
@goldengateblond: “She liked it but it didn’t have a bay window for her cat,” said the House Hunters narrator before walking into the sea.