@Dawn_M_: *crawls out of your television and tries to kill you* I'm not like other girls.
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@Scott_A_Gilmore: ~ Gets old. Puts car keys in 'better' place so I won't lose them ~ Can't find keys, has thrombosis—Dies ~ Comes back as ghost … finds keys
@TheAlexNevil: Police Sketch Artist: How about now? Me: Look I already told you, the fruit bowl is nice for perspective, but I wasn't mugged by a naked guy
@equinelover137: A guy just said he wants to know what I got "in the trunk" I told him duct tape, a shovel and rapid decomposition powder Flirting is hard
@HatfieldAnne: *gingerly maneuvers the garbage can back into place between a stack of crown molding we'll never use and your antique pesticide collection*