@JohnHilsen: Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday.
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@JD_Barney: I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"
@EndhooS: [1st day undercover] Me: [to gang of street punks] what up dongs? Voice through earpiece: OMG its DAWGS u idiot Me: is ur gang hiring today?