@JohnHilsen: Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday.
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@XplodingUnicorn: *quits Twitter to spend time with family* *remembers what family is like* *quits family for Twitter*
@MamaFizzles: The children were nestled all snug in their beds until they had to pee get a drink show me they can whistle and ask me if birds have teeth.
@ddsmidt: Me: If you're going to serve alcohol at a company party, then you shouldn't act so surprised when someone speaks their mind. HR: Get out