@ChickenFrecklez: Crazy sister put: "I had a child very young so I had to mature quickly" on her resume once. Put her email address as MONKEYTUSHIES87 too.
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@SteveSuckington: Sex with me is like bowling. Lots of drinking and cursing. Sticking your fingers in weird holes. You have to rent shoes.
@ClaytonSykes: Having a beard makes it easier to hatch a scheme, but it's getting harder and harder to play on a public swing set by myself.
@mindintheshadow: My ex is looking for a job but I don't think satan is retiring anytime soon so I suppose she'll be unemployed for a while.