@ChickenFrecklez: Crazy sister put: "I had a child very young so I had to mature quickly" on her resume once. Put her email address as MONKEYTUSHIES87 too.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SirEviscerate: ME (a ghost): You know how Bill Nye used to say "don't try this at home"? Well, I did, and he kicked in the door and shot me in the face.
@AbbyHasIssues: The cashier told me to have a good New Year like my purchase of oven cleaner and frozen pizza suggests anything else.
@ehdannyboy: I woke up to my wife fluttering her eyelashes at me. I said, "Ok, what do you want?" She said, "I want you to turn the ceiling fan down."
@XOperfectmessXO: You're like a dressing room You make me want to take my clothes off and try things