@JasonLastname: Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
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@TriciaLockwood: me: this cat is kissing me on the lips because it LOVES me cat: mother's lips taste perpetually of bacon
@jordan_stratton: ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and superpowers.
@IamEnidColeslaw: my favorite game is called "Secret Family." I go to the movies & sit near a group of strangers & pretend they love me
@iwearaonesie: the hardest part of your wife going into labor is everyone interrupts the movie by asking questions