@revraum: Creaky door hinges are just free home security for us poor folks
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@clarkekant: One of the hardest parts of being a parent is discovering your 6 year old is better than you at every video game ever.
@CanadianCyn: Mom: You need to get a hobby. Me: Like photography? Mom: I don't think stalking the garbageman is a hobby.
@andreeahluscu: Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor.
@palokin: Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it