@TrelawnySara: creating an app called Friends With Pools. It's exactly what you think it is.
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@Camel_Crushin: Genesis is my favorite rock group who've been around long enough to write a chapter in the bible.
@noog: *playing Mortal Kombat* Her: Can I try? Me: Sure. Her: Which one of them shoots that Handookie thingie? Me: Hadouken? Her: Yea. Me: Leave.
@jordan_stratton: I'm sorry, sir, but your cholesterol isn't high enough to buy this Hawaiian shirt.
@Dustinkcouch: Whenever my girlfriend doesn't eat her dinner, I remind her that there are starving kids in Africa, and that she'll never be that skinny.