@TrelawnySara: creating an app called Friends With Pools. It's exactly what you think it is.
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@Brentweets: "Fluffy died today" "Oh my god I'm so sorry, was he a cat or dog? "He was a boa constrictor" "Well that made me feel better"
@SeanEmeny: "My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I'm not coming in" - No guy, ever
@AlexReekie: Just wrote "58008" on my calculator app and when I turned it upside-down, it auto-orientated back to the right way up. I hate the future.
@ScottLinnen: This club sucks & tell the DJ to lighten up on the Enigma. SON, YOU PASSED OUT. THIS IS A CATHEDRAL