@pleatedjeans: Crime tip: commit all your crimes in space NASA is not the space police there are no laws up there you will not go to jail
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@Brianhopecomedy: I'm teaching my 2 year old about currency so I can figure out what coin she just swallowed.
@OfficialMizGin: My friend’s 6-year-old was being obnoxious. The mature thing to do was to tell him to settle down. I challenged him to a rap battle.