@pleatedjeans: Crime tip: commit all your crimes in space NASA is not the space police there are no laws up there you will not go to jail
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@Playing_Dad: "Daddy, why is it dark at night?" It gives the ghosts and zombies a time to run around and collect little kids. Goodnight, hunny.
@thatcarlygirl: What if I color on you? What if I run a truck along your back? Steal your toy? Throw a ball? Spit food at you? - My toddler, wooing the dog
@iscoff: if you eat one piece of bread shortly after you're born and another piece right before you die, all food is a sandwich