@pleatedjeans: Crime tip: commit all your crimes in space NASA is not the space police there are no laws up there you will not go to jail
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@causticbob: At a job interview "What are your strengths?" "I'm an optimist and a positive thinker" "Can you give me an example?" "Yes, when do I start?"
@BGH70: The company hates when I helicopter into work. It's always, "zip up your pants and go see HR now!"
@LuckyToken1: Five second rule? Pfft. What's the point of having an immune system if you're not going to use it?