@jonnysun: crime tip: secretley grease a cop's butt befor a car chase so when he slides acros the hood he'll slip off & keep on slidimg down the street
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@VerbsRProudest: I'm at doc's office & they have 3 designated areas: flu like symptoms, stomach virus symptoms, & kids. I don't want to catch any of the 3.
@envydatropic: Indoor water parks full of kids in diapers for when you want to catch a case of name that bacterial infection
@SpenceDen: Me as a kid: I'm bored. What my parents heard: "I would like some manual labor please."