@jonnysun: crime tip: secretley grease a cop's butt befor a car chase so when he slides acros the hood he'll slip off & keep on slidimg down the street
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Douchekevin: Wife said she was 'retaining water' and I said I'd wondered who drained the swimming pool. Been 4 days and I'm still hiding in the attic
@BootsORiley: Had to pause Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory to go buy a king sized Snickers. This is why i can not watch Breaking Bad.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: how do you feel about traveling? Me: oh I dont know, I mean I just met you
@RidiculousSheri: I'm not saying I've got a girl crush on you, I'm just saying lesbiadorable together.