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@TheRolo: Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
@Not_From_Troy: When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight...
to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
@ThaJawn: Werewolf's wife: IDGAF! It's a full moon tonight and I will not have you shedding all over! Outside, now!
@mydmac: You want to piss off a woman? Hide one shoe.
@UncleDuke1969: Inspirational Tweet:
Found the sock gone missing 7 weeks ago in today's clean laundry.
Sometimes they come back, people. Keep the faith.