@Twisted_Mettle: Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork.
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@SexyKitty975: Bro:hey how are you? Me: eh, feeling stabby B: B:I'm afraid if I tell you that's not a real word you'll show me what it means. Me: smart
@mstern68: You can tell which inmates were involved in organized crime because their cells are much neater than other prisoners'
@internetluke: Little Kid: wanna hear a joke? Me: life is meaningless without death Little Kid: why did the chicken cro- wait what?
@HolycrapitsaKat: No thanks "protected account". You can't trick me into following you! For all I know, you could be a vegan.