@ceejoyner: Crowds hated it but the best weapon for fighting a lion in the gladiator ring was a spray bottle and a firm "NO."
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@michaelianblack: How come my wife can't hold her bladder for more than three hours but she can hold a grudge for fourteen years?
@Book_Krazy: "Last call for flight 254" [Runs to gate] "You barely made it" [out of breath] This isnt my flight. I just wanted to tell you I'm a vegan
@fapanislives: Fun Fact: I love it when Americans whose Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Ireland say "I'm Irish". No.