@audipenny: Crows are like if a witch decided "I'm a bird now, too"
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@stargazer15_: I'm the kind of girl that will suck helium from a balloon and talk dirty to you in a Minnie Mouse voice. Really dirty.
@Laser_Cat: *leans out office door* Susan, hold all my calls. I have a very important lunch. *goes to desk and makes animal crackers fight each other*
@LizHackett: I hate cooking, but I am excited to debut my cookbook "Toast On A Paper Towel, 365 Ways."
@CharismaFueled: Apparently, changing your profile to "Flirty, dirty and a little squirty" gets you kicked out of Christian Mingle.