@joeljeffrey: Crude oil is the worst kind of oil because it says offensive things while it pollutes the water and ruins our planet.
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@AaronFullerton: Considering our obsessions with cats and emojis, the internet really is the new ancient Egypt.
@clemwin: HAD LOTS OF ESPRESSO. TWEETING FROM THE MOON. I LIVE HERE NOW. IT IS NOT MADE OUT OF CHEESE. 1 OUT OF 5 STARS: NOT RECOMMENDED
@_SingleBabyMama: A watched pot never boils. The same is also true if you forget to turn the burner on apparently.
@SkinnieTalls: Hey women, save your money, we just want you wrapped in a bow for Christmas. Wait, don't even worry about buying the bow.