@ch000ch: *crumples a hamburger next to the phone* sorry, i'm having trouble hearing u over this delicious hamburger noise call u later ok
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@AndyAsAdjective: Just the other day, I asked my mom at what age do children start really listening to their parents but I don't remember what her answer was.
@iamspacegirl: when there was one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I tripped and fell but Jesus didn't see and he kept walking for a little bit
@ahoytheboat: my criminal record is only clean because of how fast i can run with my pants around my ankles.
@abbymedlock: I can't stand this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, you're coming to my room.