@gitson_shiggles: Cryptocurrency sounds like an entrance fee to a mausoleum.
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@jamisondg1: I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out "swag" or "bae" on the Ouija boards
@MartaEffing: I paid 4 the lady in front of me @ Starbucks. She hugged me. Deciding when it's the right time 2 tell her I hit her car in the parking lot.
@timdonakowski: Been married six months and I can't even remember the last time I felt lucky on Google.