@pakalupapito: "where did all ur money go?" I'm either wearing it or i ate it

@WilliamAder: It's not a coincidence that so many blues songs start with "Woke up this morning..."

@caaataclysm: Walk of shame?? More like, walk of don't judge ME because YOU didn't get laid last night.

@kelkulus: Girl asked me if I wanted to watch a "romcom" so I'm going to assume she means "Roman Combat" and put on Gladiator.

@TheMichaelRock: Presidents Day was created by big corporations to get you to buy more presidents.