@AlbertCudlban: "Cu Later!" - a guy who wants some Copper, but not right now.
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@jedfudally: childrens alphabet books are the only thing keeping us from forgetting what a xylophone is
@fro_vo: *Holds an old lady's hand as I help her across the street* don't worry ma'am i'm sure the doctors can sew it back on
@ericsshadow: If your phone fell in a toilet, you would... 1995: ...leave it, toilets are gross Today: [wrist-deep in urine] BRING ME A BOWL OF RICE NOW
@david8hughes: Midwife [handing my baby]: make sure you support his head Me: that's a really great, floppy little head you've got there. Well done