@SuperRandomish: Cupcakes are amazing, because holding a full size cake up to your face isn't socially acceptable for some reason.
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@Alex_N_Chains: I think at this point, a pterodactyl egg has better odds of getting laid than I do.
@myonlymizztake: T-Rex teen: Omg, that meteor is so bright, I'm literally dying! T-Rex mom: don't be so dramatic...
@Home_Halfway: BARISTA: I have an order for...God? Is there a God? [no one answers] ATHEIST: Haha told ya GOD: *exiting bathroom* Sorry I'm here ATH: Shit
@patrickmarkryan: If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet