@SuperRandomish: Cupcakes are amazing, because holding a full size cake up to your face isn't socially acceptable for some reason.
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@VodkaShorebird: A good way to help you determine who to weed out of your life is probably by how someone pronounces "coyote".
@LoveNLunchmeat: Guinea pigs aren't real pets. You buy them when your kids are begging for a dog, but you want to make them sad instead.
@MensHumor: You can tell by a woman's feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.