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@green_babe_: Curiosity doesn't kill anything, stupidity does.
@moxieblogger: My kids tell me I drink too much.
It's funny they don't make the connection.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: *eating shepherd's pie* this is really yummy
SHEPHERD: hey, that's my pie
@stephenjmolloy: Magician: "Think of a number."
Magician: "Are you thinking of a number?"
*the crowd goes wild with applause*
@dougbies: I like long, romantic walks away from women that try catching the bouquet at weddings
@novicefather: Meant to type "Lmaoooo" but left off the "L" and now she thinks I'm singing the praises of The People's Republic.