@neiltyson: Curious that it's always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
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@TheBoydP: "I'm too important too attend the training on the new system. When I need to get in it you can walk me through it each time" ~Management
@SortaBad: College: Now that you're making tons of money with your degree, please donate back to us every year Me: lol College: lol ikr?
@notacroc: WIFE: don't be weird at the party tonight ME: am i ever weird? [dinner party] CHERYL: how's the soup taste? ME: like the blood of my enemies