@neiltyson: Curious that it's always a female computer voice that calmly announces self-destruct sequences and other violent disasters.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@topaz_kell: If you're upset with someone, write down your feelings in a message. Put the message in a bottle. Hit them over the head with the bottle.
@Smooheed: Tonight I realized that I gaze at cheese in much the same way that first time mothers gaze at their newborns
@ThaJawn: (Animal spelling bee) Owl: Your word is Mississippi Snake: M I Sssssss Sssssssss Badger: *in audience* OH FFS THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER