@TheCatWhisprer: Curling seems like the kind of game Mr. Miyagi would’ve made up to trick Daniel into cleaning his floors.
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@EdgarAllanLo: Pharaohs were buried with their arms crossed over their chests because ancient Egyptians believed they took a waterslide into the afterlife.
@MarfSalvador: [after giving cpr] him: ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵃᵛᵉᵈ ᵐʸ ˡᶦᶠᵉ me: lol him: ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ʰᵉˡˡ me: I inhaled helium first
@BrettDruck: Being fat is when you watch Jurassic Park and wonder if dinosaur tastes good.
@ThisOneSayz: Real Estate Agent: it’s a 3 bed, 2 bath... Witch: ...but? REA: it’s made out of gingerbread so lots of kids linger around W: I’ll take it
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