@angibangie: Current fitness level: arm is tired from brushing teeth.
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@flashember: [Ariel climbs Rapunzel's hair with a dinglehopper between her teeth] "There can only be one socially awkward Princess," she vows savagely.
@angibangie: *Passing the same coworker in the hallway more than once: Don't look at me, I already said "Hi" to you.
@AmericanGent69: Co-Worker: Poor John has been single forever. We should set him up. Me: *hiding cocaine and a gun in his office desk* I’m on it.
@Tmoney68: "Congratulations on the baby! Childbirth is so beautiful!" - Someone who has clearly never witnessed the birth of a child.