@Jessdaisy: Current relationship status:
Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
@jeannerbeaner: My signature move is eating a whole bag of something before realizing I don't like it.
@Parkerlawyer: People that don't tweet for months and then show up like nothing happened...
Was it jail? I bet it was jail.
@TheTweetOfGod: Attention: Will the owners of a blue planet with plate tectonics please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.
@dvoted_hubsand: I cant use facebook cuz everyone making popular comment I wish I thought of first, like "thank God it Friday!" or "Im pregnant of baby"
@SuperShourds: I didn't have a headache until you pulled your pants down.