@iAmJuddy: Currently accomplishing an astonishing amount of nothing, at a blistering rate.
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@ibid78: Probably the hardest part about being a dj is when you get into a fight and you gotta hold your headphones up to your ear with one shoulder.
@JermHimselfish: I got everyone a pet snake for Christmas but you have to catch it, they're in my house, they're everywhere, please come get your snake.
@causticbob: I went to a fortune teller and he told me a lot of money was coming my way. I walked out really excited, then I got hit by a Securicor van.
@Contwixt: Don't act like you've never used a pair of binoculars to try to peer through another pair of binoculars.