@iAmJuddy: Currently accomplishing an astonishing amount of nothing, at a blistering rate.
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@ohpegah: *thinks every animal is a type of dog* *sees a cat* scratch dog *sees a parrot* talk dog *sees a worm* spaghetti dog
@Dildotron: I dont mean to sound racist, but why is my baby black? *doctor sighs for like 3 mins* "Sir, its an ultrasound" *Seinfeld bass riff for days*
@squirrel74wkgn: [at Doctor's office] "When's the last time you had sex?" Last night. "With a male or female?" Oh...with another person?