@garrettbarry70: Currently helping my wife looking for her favourite vase that I threw out six months ago.
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@Home_Halfway: The Tortoise and the Hare is a classic story about how people who like to run are awful.
@seamussaid: I bring my own pen into the bank because I don't need any god dammed chains telling me where I can and cannot write
@0point5twins: STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks.
@5exyunchained: It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.