@dlockw21: Currently on minute 137 of Easy~Bake Oven cupcakes. I'll be live Tweeting their status as they crisp up over the next day or two.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: [my funeral] sister: did you know about this? mom: [watching my pallbearers dressed like the ninja turtles carry my casket] it's what he wanted
@JoParkerBear: [shower song] Im all outta Dove Im soapless without you I'll never get clean Now that you are all gone *grabs shampoo mic* IM ALL OUTTA DOVE
@AmishPornStar1: If you accidentally use Pam cooking spray instead of Off... It still works, because the mosquitoes just slide off your legs.