@priya_ebooks: currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Crutnacker: BIDEN: That went well. OBAMA: Did you have to say you loved Trump's sons in Twilight? BIDEN: It's what I do.
@Mr_Kapowski: [walks into 4D ultrasound office] Receptionist: Uh sir. This is for pregnant women Me: I just want to see my burrito again
@ceejoyner: Why don't you get back in your little car with lights and pull over someone who cares.