@priya_ebooks: currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out
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@hippieswordfish: before guns were invented, armies had to throw bullets at each other and if a bullet touched you, you had to sit out until the next war
@genehunter1: What kind of name for a storm is "Debby?" Hurricanes should have names like "Satan" No one should have their house destroyed by "Heather."
@backporchlady: Asking me if I want a bag for the box of tampons I just bought is like asking me if they're for here or to go.