@priya_ebooks: currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out
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@WilliamAder: If your kid eats the chocolate bunny's feet first, "so it can't get away," that's your future serial killer right there.
@Storminika: My friend just broke up with her man. I really helped her through the break up by letting her know he's no good in bed anyway.