@TumblrEdits: Curved TV Problems..
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@thepunningman: [Restaurant] "Good evening sir, would you like to hear the specials?" Yes please "THIS TOWN (AHH AHHH) IS COMIN LIKE A GHOST TOWN"
@ieatanddrink: For animals with an "amazing sense of smell" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing "Whoops, these are turds"
@AGreaterMonster: LOL at the neighbor kids who didn't realize I keep my piranhas in the hot tub.
@mollzbenn: It's amazing how much you can get away with by wearing an orange vest and a hard hat. I've been digging a hole in this Forever 21 for hours.