@famoushorse: customers who viewed SHIMMERING LIGHTS OUTSIDE THEIR WINDOWS, also viewed THEIR FEET HELPLESSLY MOVING TOWARDS THE DARKNESS OF THE WOODS
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@GuttaLikeNoOtha: My son: Mommy I can't wait to grow up and be a man. Me: Don't be silly son, you can't do both
@panmidwest: ANGEL: the humans need a model for how they should treat you… GOD: [creates dog] ANGEL: …and for how they actually do GOD: [creates cat]
@hoedeehoe: (1st day in heaven) Me: Whoa- is that Elvis? Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators
@beefman138: [At my front door, speaking to a detective in my robe] Me : Can I have my robe back, please?