@Eatingyourwords: cut a hole in the bottom of my tub of popcorn while on a date so when she goes for some she accidentally grabs a copy of my mixtape
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@KimMonte10: Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore? There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot
@jollyrobber: You kids today with your on demand music don't know the euphoria of hearing your jam come on the radio without the DJ talking over it.
@bobbiejo448: 5yo: I can't wear those socks today. They say Wednesday. Me: If anyone notices, tell them you're here from the future to save the world.
@Cyd10e: 4 y/o: What's your job? Me: I stay at home, take care of you, clean, cook the food... 4: That sounds boring. Do you want me to fire you?