@pvponline: Cut to Obama and Biden silently eating schwarma.
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@TheDairylandDon: I swallow at least one note per meal that says "we're all really proud of you," in case the person who does my autopsy is having a bad day.
@Matt_The_1st: Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
@baeblacksheep: I'm shaking my hands to get my nail polish to dry and now this deaf guy outside wants to know how the story ends.